A Mom’s Journey from Anti-Vax to “Science:” Give Me a Break!

Lazaraus T. Jones here with a response to one of the dumbest posts I’ve ever read. Didn’t you hear? An “anti-vax” mom’s entire family (including her three vaccinated children) came down with the whoop and she’s made the switch (from a club she was never a part of) to “science.”

Although the article was entitled, “A Mom’s Journey from Anti Vax to Science,” this ain’t my first rodeo. I’m allergic to reverse psychology and this had “pro-vax propaganda” written all over it. I’d post a picture of my hives but I wouldn’t want to scare you into downing a bottle of Benadryl.

Let me give you the run-down of the facts. This mother invited her bro-in-law over for game night with a full-blown cold. She was totally cool with it though because we anti-vax freaks don’t care nothin’ bout a germ.

We’d had a game night at our house in March, my brother-in-law had a full-blown cold, so when the kids started with a dry cough a few days later I didn’t think much of it.

A few days later her kids developed a dry cough that was so bad she didn’t even take them to a doctor. She just “Googled” their symptoms and GASP! They had all of the symptoms of the common cold! (Totally okay to Google diagnose your children if you decide to vaccinate and talk about it, by the way.)

I jumped on Google to type in “child cough.” My kids had all but one symptom of pertussis, none of them had the characteristic “whoop.” But they had everything else.

Wait, she said they had all but one symptom? Okay, I’ll play. Here’s what WebMD describes as the symptoms of whooping cough:

Whooping cough, also called pertussis, is characterized by back-to-back coughs, followed by an inhale that has a “whooping” sound. Other symptoms may include runny nose, sneezing, and low fever.

Yet, in another part of her article she explicitly stated that her children did not have runny noses, sneezing, or the characteristic “whoop” always associated with whooping cough. (Hello? That’s why they call it “WHOOPING cough.”)

No one had a runny nose or sneezing but they all had the same unproductive cough.  Between coughing fits they were fine.

Yes my friends, these kids had the “whoopless cough” and there’s no way that big bro in-law gave it to them. He was probably vaccinated and if there’s one thing we’re sure of, it’s that vaccinated adults don’t get sick and they don’t spread disease. But go head, we’ll just pretend it was whooping cough, that the pertussis vaccine is effective, and that if her other children were vaccinated they wouldn’t have gotten it like her other vaccinated children did.

To our surprise, this experience with whooping cough isn’t why she left the dark side. After wading through paragraphs of inconsistencies, this mother gave a list of the classic misconceptions all undercover pro-vaxers use when pretending to be reformed anti-vaxers.

She decided to stop living in fear, started listening to her pro-vax relatives and their hateful propaganda (instead of Jenny McCarthy), came back from the edge of conspiracy, decided that the medical community, Big Pharma, and the government weren’t in an incestuous relationship (they just share a bed and make-out all the time), and even brought God into it. It was hilarious.

But no reformed anti-vaxer story is complete without a little measles. The missing piece of her conversion “fell into place” when a small outbreak of a common, benign, childhood illness known as measles, occurred in her community, which killed, maimed, and harmed a whopping zero children.

The fact that her children could have “hypothetically” gotten measles and exposed a 34-week infant in the NICU (who would have been protected by Mama’s antibodies if she had acquired measles naturally as child) “chilled her to the bone.” Because yes, we all parade our children (vaccinated or not) through the NICU. For the record, children aren’t even allowed in the NICU, nor are recently vaccinated individuals, but that’s beside the point.

What ultimately convinced her to vaccinate? Fear, which is what every parent should base their vaccination decision on, a re-assessment of “community immunity,” and a real sense of “personal and social responsibility to God and man.” So she decided to catch her children up and shove them full of as much toxins and aborted baby ingredients as she could, God willing.

But it doesn’t end there. After dispelling the pro-vax agenda under the guise of reformed anti-vaxism, we’re taken to the hospital waiting room, where she’s waiting to see if her 10 month-old son has whooping cough (since baby doesn’t have protection thanks to mass vaccinating). She heard “a” whoop. The same whoop I make when I’m eatin’ my chips too fast and forget to come up for air between bites.

Yet, the CDC says that with pertussis in infants “the cough can be minimal or not even there.” So the big kids who should be whooping are whoopless but the baby who shouldn’t be whooping is whooping? This is all so confusing.

We never found out whether her kids actually had whooping cough because there’s no proof to corroborate her story – like lab confirmation. The only thing we have is her story and a clip of her kids coughing and it wasn’t half as bad as that really annoying pertussis commercial.

For the sake of objectivity though, I would post a clip of a baby who died from SIDS post-pertussis vaccine, but you wouldn’t be able to hear him. My friend would give anything to hear his baby cough.

Now, I’m not trying to “shame” this mom like she claims everyone from the anti-vax camp does. (I personally don’t know who these people are. Maybe she’s getting us confused with those pro-vax trolls.) Her kids were sick. It’s scary. I get it. But quarantine is fun. You get to sit at home all day and snooze on the couch with your kids, watch whatever you want (because they’re game for anything), and stuff your face with snacks…lots of snacks. (Well, maybe they don’t because they’re not whoopin’ it up, but you do.)

The fear of quarantine aside, lemme break this down for everyone. (You can pretend I’m yelling if it gets the message across more clearly.) People who do not vaccinate their kids, who have made an informed decision, don’t go running for the hills when their kid gets sick. Nor do they question their decision, because it was based on the scientific evidence (not emotional arguments). Whether or not our children get sick doesn’t change the fact that vaccines aren’t safe or effective.

My kid ate some nasty concoction she made up in the sandbox last week and woke up the next day with what would have been diagnosed with polio in 1954. Was I freakin’ out when she had a seizure? Sure. I took her to the emergency room like any reasonable parent would do and they gave her some Motrin. (I’d resort to Motrin before giving a vaccine guys, so cut me some slack.) Good as new.

My boy had pox once. Got it from a vaxed kid. Our house was one big quarantine party for a few days and we were all sad to see it go.

My other kid. She got the measl… (I’ll let you finish that sentence). Diagnosed that one WebMD style. Gave her some cod liver oil, vitamin A, turned down the lights, and chilled on the couch. She’s got lifetime immunity (the real kind) my friends.

My point is that parents who make decisions based on science instead of emotional arguments don’t regret their decision when their kid gets sick– just like people who vaccinate (who truly believe in their decision) don’t waiver when their kid develops brain damage post-vaccine. Oh wait, they do. Never mind.

Secondly, you should know that the pertussis vaccine does not work. (Still yelling.)
See here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here.

The CDC knows it, doctors know it, parents know it, and hey, even Big Bird knows it and he doesn’t even have a brain. It’s a crappy vaccine. It makes one an asymptomatic reservoir for the disease, increases incidence of b. parapertussis, rarely induces immunity, and if it does, it lasts about as long as the segments between commercial breaks. That’s why we gotta get it over, and over, and over. For realz, chuggin’ your kid’s juice box would give you better protection against whooping cough.

So why the heck would I give my kid something that contains this:
Aluminum phosphate, formaldehyde, glutaraldehyde, 2-Phenoxyethanol, Stainer-Scholte medium, modified Mueller’s growth medium, modified Mueller-Miller casamino acid medium (without beef heart infusion), dimethyl 1-beta-cyclodextrin, ammonium sulfate,

Or this, 
aluminum phosphate, polysorbate 80, formaldehyde, gutaraldehyde, bovine serum albumin, 2-phenoxethanol, neomycin, polymyxin B sulfate, Mueller’s Growth Medium, Mueller-Miller casamino acid medium (without beef heart infusion), Stainer-Scholte medium (modified by the addition of casamino acids and dimethyl-beta-cyclodextrin), MRC-5 (human diploid) cells, CMRL 1969 medium (supplemented with calf serum), ammonium sulfate, and medium 199

Which could cause this:
Cyanosis, diarrhea, vomiting, cellulitis, anaphylaxis, upper respiratory tract infection, depressed level of consciousness, encephalitis, cough, dyspnea, eczema, autism, arthritis, muscular, meningitis, Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, SIDS, and death.

To protect them against this:
Runny nose, nasal congestion, watery eyes, fever, cough (with a whoop), vomiting, and fatigue.

No thanks. With the current state of “vaccine science” and lack of accountability in the medical and scientific communities, we parents have to scrutinize what we’re told and that means tossing articles like the ones meant to scare us into vaccinating, in the trash.

For every emotional story about whooping cough, there’s an equally emotional story about a vaccine injury. Do your research and don’t let emotionally manipulative articles scare you into making a decision you’re not comfortable with.

Over and out,
Lazarus T. Jones

Photo credit: Gratisography